I was sleeping in my bed when I suddenly woke up, terrified. It was from a loud noise that made me jump in my bed. It took me a few seconds to realize it was a clap of thunder. In those few seconds, my heart had already began racing, and my breaths became shallow and fast.
I was panicking, and for a few seconds, I couldn’t think straight. An old monster came back to life: My fear of war where every loud noise meant a bomb was going off (I grew up in a war zone, and the thunder pressed my “go to the underground shelter” button.) I also felt that way when the firefighters' alarm went off a few weeks after I moved to the US. The sound of it was almost exactly the same sound as the sirens that signaled us to run and hide from the bombs. The fear felt so real that my body started trembling and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming out. I remember sitting on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably while KNOWING that there is no real threat or danger.
You see, the fear felt REAL, although I knew I was no longer in danger. It felt so real that for a few minutes, I couldn’t tell the difference between reality and my emotions.
I’m sharing all of this is because fear has its unique way of crawling into your mind and body and stopping you from making rational decisions. Rational decisions such as writing the book you’ve been dreaming of writing for so many years. The book that can help so many people, make their lives better and change your life.
The fear feels so real that people convince themselves that their fear is a reality.
Fear is a master of disguise and can hide itself so well that you’ll hardly recognize it. This is why it is so hard to notice that what’s stopping you is fear and not a real threat. Fear takes many different shapes such as the thoughts:
1. My father/mother/kids/uncle/ex-husband would not approve of it
2. I don’t have what it takes
3. Getting help is too expensive
4. My story isn’t interesting, and no one would want to read my book
When you are able to tell the difference between reality and your fear this is what your thoughts look like:
• People who care about me will love me even if I show vulnerability. I deserve to share my truth, my side of the story. (All of that can be done in a mindful way that will not burn bridges. Not sharing your story is fear of the unknown.)
• Writing a book can be done by any passionate individual if they have the right support. I have what it takes because I have a story that needs to be shared. (Feeling any different is simply a fear of speaking up and following your passion.)
• Writing a book is about investing in myself, and that means that I need to love myself enough to do so. If my roof was leaking I would find the money to fix it in no time Fear is what gets in the way of putting myself first.
(“Too expensive” is usually a way of saying “I’m not important enough.” or I’m too scared to take action.)
• Saying “my story isn’t interesting” is a great excuse for not going after my dream. (I can guarantee that in less than 30 minutes of talking to you I can find at least three stories that will make you wonder “is this really me?”)
Fear is a thought you have and it is always about living in the future and holding yourself back because of things that have not yet happened, and most chances never will.
Do you want fear to be the reason you’re not sharing your story, helping others and making a difference?